So I spend a lot of time reflecting on my personal journey, both with mental health and finding out who I really am. Lately I have been thinking about what it means to live your truth, as we so often hear the expression. I have never been the person to spend money on myself, or buy things for myself- but lately that has changed. I have hobbies, my crafting business I have started (Self Shoutout: check me out on Instagram @MandyBearDesignShop), and goals for my life that I have just kind of figured out (full disclosure on that later, don’t worry guys. It’s top secret for now though 😉 )
And in typical #momguilt, I have felt so guilty about that! I feel selfish for wanting things for myself. How dare I? I have a family! But then I think- if I don’t show up for myself, what example is that setting for myself and my boys? Is it shameful to want to grow myself, both professionally and personally? Am I not also doing these things to give my family a better life and better opportunities?
We have to live our truth, boys and girls. Even if it takes you 32 years to figure out who you are, who you want to be, what you want out of life and where you are headed- you have to listen to that voice inside you (your gut, as my Granny would say). It’s ok to have dreams and ambitions, and they don’t make you any less of a mom, or dad, or spouse.
My truth is that I am not perfect. I struggle with my weight, my self image, and my anxiety. But I show up every day for my hubs, for Biggie and Smalls- and dammit I’m trying to show up for myself too. My truth is that I do exist outside of being a mom. I have hobbies, and interests, and dreams. My truth is that I want more out of life than the status quo. I want to grow, and keep growing, and keep learning. I want financial stability for my family.
We have to be truthful with ourselves. It’s really hard to admit that just being parents is not always completely fulfilling. It’s ok to want more for yourself. It’s ok to go out there and grab it by the balls and make it your bitch. Because in the end, our kids are going to see that they can do and be anything they want, because Mom and Dad did it their whole lives.