There are two kinds of moms in this world: judgmental moms and fucking liars. We all judge- it is the nature of the beast. Own it, embrace it, and try to keep it in check.
How can we not be judgmental? Being a mom is your whole identity in the beginning, and it takes work to remember that’s not all that you are. The world judges us for EVERYTHING we do. We all think we are raising our kids the best way possible, and how dare you have an opinion that differs from mine?!
With something as wrapped up in our DNA as fully as parenting is, how can we expect anything less than passionate, tired AF parents who have strong, sleep deprived opinions on how to best get these monsters to adulthood successfully?
I’m not saying I am proud of it, but I do it too. I think the most productive way to combat it is to surround yourself with a tribe of like-minded parents. That way you have a good support system that you can be yourself around. It creates a safe space for all involved to share freely.
For example, I surround myself with moms who aren’t afraid to tell it like it is. I need that kind of honesty to help get me through. I would not do well on Mom Facebook groups, and I’m ok with that. If you can, that’s awesome! I need to have a tribe where I can say my kid is being an asshole and they commiserate and get me. Isn’t that what it’s all about- having a support system for whatever walk or mindset of parenting you are in?
So own your judgyness! Accept, embrace, and try to find ways to chill the F out when you can. Don’t alienate people, and if you are you need to figure out how to slow your roll. I think it’s a little unrealistic to assume a tell-it-like-it-is mom and a crunchy helicopter mom would do much for each other support-wise, but we don’t have to be dicks to each other because of that. Be nice, being a parent is hard enough.