You’re like me right? Telling people no and standing up for yourself is physically painful and obviously anxiety inducing, right? No? Well please, share with the rest of us your secret sauce because I have a feeling you’re in the minority on this one.
I remember those first few months in therapy, and my therapist telling me it’s okay to tell people no, and they won’t like it once you start. All these years later, this has stuck with me. She was right, people did NOT appreciate it. But I kept doing it.
And guess what? It got easier, and less anxiety inducing. Is it perfect? Hell no, sometimes the struggle bus is out blocking traffic. Something else my therapist told me- you can’t be uncomfortable to make someone else comfortable. Read that again.
How often have you done that? Made yourself uncomfortable to keep the peace, to avoid conflict, to not hurt someone else’s feelings? Did it make you feel better? I was literally drowning in anxiety to avoid standing up for myself. Recently, I finally came to a breaking point.
I am DONE with trying to people please at the expense of my happiness. With everything that has been going on in the world this past year, I say F you to that noise. Imma do me. I want- no- I DESERVE to be happy.
And you know what happened when I started putting myself first? Everything seemed to fall into place. It’s been a few months and I am finally at the point where I feel like myself again. I’m happier, more active, barely napping anymore. Some days the happiness just bubbles over. It’s a feeling I haven’t had in so long and it feels incredible.
YOU deserve to be happy. No matter what that looks like. No matter who you have to tell no to get there. You matter, just the way you are. Go set some boundaries for yourself, and see what magic happens.