Who’s the boss now, bitch?!

Guys, I did a thing! I started my own business! I’m about 3 weeks in, please excuse my absence as I have been learning all the things. This is something I have wanted for the last year or two- basically ever since reading “Girl, Wash Your Face.” If you don’t pray at the alter of Rachel Hollis who are you and what are you doing with your life?

So it’s a lot, starting a business. You hit the ground running, and there is so much to learn. I am finding out so much about life and myself and how far I can push myself. Am I still wondering if I did the right thing, as my plate is already full? Duh- but I also want to go back to school and that isn’t going to be a cake walk either. So I’m working hard and putting myself out there and I know it’s going to pay off. I’m playing the long game, and I’m having fun.

One thing they tell us is to know your why. Your why is what is going to draw people to you and keep them coming back. So I’ve been thinking about it. Your why isn’t money- obviously money is a bonus. I’m fortunate that I already know who I am, thanks to my journey through anxiety. And I know a little about putting myself out there because of this blog.

But WHY did I start my own business? Well one of the reasons, the biggest one probably, is my family. I want us to be able to live comfortably in this beautiful new house we built. I want us to be able to take amazing family vacations. I don’t want us to struggle ever again.

I need a strong, supportive female presence in my life. I have learned that over the past year. This team I am on is full of amazing, boss women that cheer you on and push you to push yourself. This is what keeps me fighting to make this business successful. I am surrounded by constant support and enthusiasm that I never want to live without again. Call me spoiled, I don’t care. 🙂

I know I am made for more. I was meant for more- I need to push myself farther, out of my comfort zone. As Rachel Hollis says, “if you are the smartest person in the room you need a new room.” I am a little fish in this big pond and instead of making me feel insecure, it is making me feel like I can reach the stars.

Challenge yourself, guys. Believe in yourself, and find other people who believe in you too. Cut out the bullshit and negativity, even, and especially if, it is coming from yourself. You can go get any goal you want. Go grab that dream by the horns and tell it how it’s going to be. Go find your room, and don’t look back.

Adulting is hard, guys.

So as I have mentioned, I have been working on opening my own Etsy store. I have been building up inventory, designing things to sell, getting business cards and getting ready to promote my brand. This has been going on for a month or two. Last night I was working on some designs and I realized something-

I don’t want to open an Etsy store anymore. I realized there is totally something to a job vs a hobby. I love designing things and making things for people. I love planning all the decorations for the kid’s birthday parties. I love being able to create something instead of having to buy it at the store.

I was losing that excitement in the stress of trying to get the store open. So I’m going to forget about the store and go back to doing what I love instead. So if you need party decorations- hit me up!

Does this count as an adulting situation? Feels like being a grown up to me.

Is 32 too early for an existential crisis? Asking for a friend.

Lies, I’m asking for myself. Lately I have been feeling so unsatisfied in my professional life. My personal life is great, my anxiety is taking a back seat and behaving itself lately, the kids are good and (mostly) not sick.

So of course per protocol this would be the time for me to be unhappy in my work life. I feel undervalued and unseen. I feel bored. There are so many things about myself I have learned lately- that I actually have hobbies and things I’m good at besides being a mom! We as working parents spend more time at work than at home, so to not feel like I’m getting much out of it is totally unacceptable. If I’m going to sacrifice time away from my babies and DadingWITHOUTanxiety, I want it to MEAN something. I want to feel seen and appreciated.

I think we all feel like that right? Because as parents we spend a lot of time being unseen, taking a backseat to the needs of the kids. However, I am finding it difficult to try and remedy this situation. Obviously the time for a career change is not when you have two kids under 5. So I’m doing my research and coming up with some side gigs in the meantime (Etsy store grand opening coming shortly!)

Burn some sage for me, guys. Cuz I’m way too young for a midlife crisis.